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(To the tune of Dean Martin's "It's Amore...")
© Copyright 2015-2020 / Parody Lyric by John Hessburg. All Rights Reserved. ____________________________________________________________ Your hand hits a reef crack If you don't get it back It's a moray... If it's toothy & brown And it's dragging you down It's a moray... Doncha dare cop a feel From this type of an eel Whoa a moray.... Or the memories may linger Just minus one finger A moray a moray today. *********************** If it tugs on your sleeve And you get no reprieve It's a moray... You'll be feeling uncanny If it chomps on your fanny Yes a moray... If it's swimming on by Near your right inner thigh Whoops, a moray... ! You could brandish a shiv Just protect where you live It's a moray, a moray today.
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© Copyright Jack Larrison and The DICTION AERIE.™ All rights reserved.
OK, so this little girl goes to school one morning. She’s in 1st grade and her teacher says, “Class, guess what? Today we will be studying about whales, BIG huge whales, the biggest animals on earth, in fact!” The kids start clapping gleefully… “Oh that is so exciting!” the little girl says. Then a slight frown flickers across her face. She begins to wave wildly. “But teacher, what if you were swimming and a whale came up and just … SWALLOWED you?” “No dear,” the teacher replies. “No worries. Whales cannot eat people. You see, they might be huge animals but their throats are very small. Most whales just eat planktons, the size of teeny little ants -- they're creatures that float in the water in big thick bunches.” “But teacher,” the little girl protests, and she stands up. “My Mom read me a story about Jonah and the Whale, and the Whale DID eat Jonah, all the way down. Mom says that Jonah stayed inside the whale’s belly for 3 whole days!” “No, no dear, that’s just a story; nothing but an old wive's tale,” the teacher says. Her voice is flustered, irritated. “Now sit down young lady and please pay attention. For the last time, whales cannot eat people; that’s physically impossible!” The little girl sits down then suddenly blurts out angrily, “OK. When I get to heaven I’m asking God if that whale really DID eat Jonah.” Fed up completely, the teacher says, “Well, what if Jonah never made it to heaven? What if Jonah went to HELL instead?” The little girl replies, “Then YOU ask him!” |
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