By Jack Larrison
© Copyright 2015-2020, Jack Larrison & The DICTION AERIE.™ All rights reserved.
A friend of mine recently sent me a photo in a prominent fashion magazine that showed two "gangstahs," lily-white boys with gaudy neck bling and sideways ball caps, juxtaposed with a shot of two apparently metro-sexual guys preening with pursed lips, like Zoolander wannabes, in ultra-fine GQ suits. His caption was “Swag is for boys. Class is for men.”
Au contraire, mon frere. We hope you were being facetious here. No offense intended, but let us please cut through the baloney... These are all Sheep in Wolves Clothing -- both the Wannabe Wolves of Wall Street and the Hoods with Hoodies in da 'Hood. As depicted by these graphics at least, "Class" is for media-whipped Dilberts and herd-minded corporate clones who've been co-opted into this metro-sexual look that self-ordained high priests in the fashion industry, drunk on their own hubris, push as THE way to dress, to live, to be -- to be cool in the hardscrabble chase for urban "success."
What a stale joke, what silliness -- lame, transparent, devoid of soul. And this Beastie Boy faux gangstah chic, which scared little suburban boyz who crave wolfpack acceptance in the vacuum made by absentee fathers, eagerly don in equally herdlike affectation -- is just as ridiculous.
But at least it's raw and partly masculine, and therefore annointed with a little bit of sincerity.
Remember, fashion trend-seekers: Look deep, look past the Sheep in Wolves' Clothing. Methinks they are all posers more worthy of pity than censure. Once more advertising barons, millions of us out here want you all to get a life and stop this surfeit of balderdash you dish out daily as if it were Holy Writ. We are finally hip to your schtick and it is neither cool nor funny anymore. Just deadly dull and stoked with hubris.
Like John Lennon said, dudes -- "Dig it."
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