"The MACHO CINEMA" - a parody.

© Copyright 2015-2020, John Hessburg.  All rights reserved. 

(To the tune of "Glory Glory Halleluia."  Written for a Spring Soiree of the St. Paul Film Roundtable, a private club of writers, artists and culture critics who, since 1998 have met once a month in St. Paul MN to review the best art films and feature flicks of the season.  A good friend in this Movie Group recently lamented that post-modern cinema, driven by mega-studios and their bottom lines, has devolved into little more than "F-bombs, boobs and explosions."  This satire in song explores the excesses.  Oh, and "Yes Virginia, it's OK, every now and then, to indulge in slang to make an artistic point."  Thank God there's still no government fee for a poetic license.)


We are so secure in our masculinity
Why we could wear a pink shirt, or even hug a tree
The glories of testosterone are flowing, fast & free
In the MACHO CINEMA.
 
(Chorus)
            Glory glory halleluia
            Don't let them sensitive guys fool ya
            Give 'em a chance & Tarantino'll rule ya
            Gimme MACHO CINEMA !
 
All hail to Schwarzenegger & those Terminator flicks
He's knockin' heads & wreckin' trucks
He's got no time for chicks
One hour with Merchant Ivory feels like
Swimming the River Styx
Gimme MACHO CINEMA !
 
(Chorus)
 
We yawn at Woody Allen, Billy Crystal what a smurf
And Nathan Lane's a gnawing pain
A' prancing in his scarf
Then Rupert Everett with Madonna
Man, we're gonna barf
Gimme MACHO CINEMA !
 
(Chorus)
 
Who'd a' thunk a macho hunk would ever cross the line
We brim with rage when Nicolas Cage
Gets doe-eyed with Meg Ryan
So if yer sellin' Sister Act, then brother we ain't buyin'
Gimme MACHO CINE- 
MACHO CINE- 
MACHO CINEMA !
 
(Finale Chorus)